Toxic Relationships Between Doctor and Patients

Dear Dr. Shawn: ”Could you explain a term I’ve heard? On one of my email groups someone was talking about a “toxic relationship” that can occur between a patient and a doctor. What is this? Does this apply to pets and veterinarians as well?”

A:”A toxic relationship often occurs between doctors and their patients. Since I get to see many pet owners and their pets that come to me for a second opinion and an alternative approach to treating their pets, I hear many stories that I would describe as toxic relationships. A toxic  relationship is where the healthcare provider does not show empathy towards the patient or pet owner. These providers are often intelligent and provide correct treatment, but they show no real concern towards their patients. Many are intellectually the “best” doctors. They often have the attitude of “my way or the highway,” due to their own inflated self importance. Instead of working towards healing, they are most concerned about making sure their treatment orders are followed exactly as prescribed.

The nursing and veterinary assistant professions have a different attitude, combining love, compassion, and spirituality in the therapeutic relationship (no wonder many people love the support personnel more than the primary health care provider!) Holistic physicians and veterinarians are also different in this way: we appreciate the value that love, compassion, and emotional harmony contribute to healing. Maybe that’s why it’s unlikely for holistic doctors to be in a toxic relationship: the goal is not simply “treating the disease” but “healing the patient.”

So often a doctor’s words and attitude contribute to the toxic relationship which can put the patient at further harm. According to Harvard cardiologist Dr. Bernard Lown, many doctors use words that maim (incapacitate) their patients. Statements such as “You only have 3 months to live,” “If I were you I’d start saying my good-byes now,” and similar toxic terms serve no positive healing purpose. In my own practice, I’ve had owners repeat similar statements made by previous veterinarians.  Several clients have told me that their doctors told them there was no hope for their pets, and to take the pets home for the night to say good-bye and come back the next day for euthanasia. Another client told me his doctor said that his beloved dog was “toast” and nothing could help the pet. Needless to say, my attitude was different and these hopeless pets are still alive and doing quite well. I believe a change in attitude and a better choice of words is needed in our profession. Our words do make a difference, and sharing a positive attitude with the pet’s caregiver, while certainly not capable of healing every pet, goes a long was in making a positive influence on our patients.”

Dr. Shawn Messonnier, a practicing veterinarian and owner of Paws & Claws Animal Hospital in Texas, is one of the foremost authorities on holistic pet care in the U.S. today.

Through his award winning books, syndicated newspaper column, magazine articles, and his Martha Stewart network weekly radio show “The Natural Vet”, Dr. Shawn has helped educate millions of caring pet owners and pet care professionals on diet, nutrition.  His mantra of “Just Say No to Drugs” has made a positive impact on the lives of thousands of pets nationwide.

For more information, visit petcarenaturally.com/.

Dr. Shawn Messonnier, National Spokesman for Pet-Togethers, is a regularly featured contributor.