Debunking Myths - I’m too old for that!

Myth:  Imagine a suggestion from a friend, family member, or even from your therapist, to which you would respond, “I’m too old for that.”  It happens all the time that we tell ourselves and others that we are “too old” to do certain things.

Fact: There is very little that is truly limited by a maximum age.

There are plenty of things that are restricted based on a minimum age.  You cannot babysit until you’re about 12 or drive until you are around 15, you cannot vote until 18, drink alcohol until 21, reserve a rental car in your own name until 25, be President of the United States until 35, or begin collecting your Social Security until age 62.  However, there really aren’t many formal limits that declare a maximum age.

Oh sure, you can’t join the Marines for the first time if you’re over 28 (although you could still join the Army up to age 42), most police and fire crews discourage starting that career after 35, and you might be limited in your professional practice as a lawyer over the age of 70, but chances are, those aren’t the sorts of things we’re talking about when we say, “I’m too old for that.”

Often, the types of things we say we’re “too old” for are fun things like going on amusement park rides, celebrating birthdays noisily in restaurants, or getting all dressed up for a night out on the town.  You’re never too old for fun.

Other things we say we’re “too old” for are challenging things like going back to school, changing careers, starting a family, learning a new language, or picking up a new hobby.  You’re never too old for challenge.

We also like to say we’re “too old” for scary things like moving to a new city, traveling overseas, starting a business, writing a book, dating, getting married, getting divorced, going to a movie by ourselves, skydiving, race car driving, or playing on the monkey bars on a playground.  You’re never too old to do scary things.

However, you  may be “TOO EXPERIENCED” to want to do those things.

That is, you may have done enough scary things in your life, hurt yourself enough, and  are no longer willing to trade the chance of injury for the fun.  If you have lived a full and exciting life, you have done a number of physically - and mentally - dangerous things, you have had some fun, some pain, and now you have enough experience to evaluate your options and choose the ones that are most likely to maximize the fun and minimize the pain.  That’s not “too old,” that’s just plain smart!

Now, when you haven’t really taken many risks, you haven’t put yourself too far out there, you haven’t really challenged yourself and you’re starting to see your desired options disappear, that, again, is not you getting “too old,” but rather, getting hopeless, remorseful, and regretful and those conditions are just as dangerous as whatever the feared activity might be.

Although allowing yourself to fall in love with a charming stranger might result in your being swindled out of your life savings, living year after year alone with your money isn’t necessarily a better life.  Although the business you start at age 65 may only run for 3 years before going under, that makes you a business owner.  Living the 20 years between age 65 and 85 wishing you would have tried only makes you a bitter old person.  Although hiking the Grand Canyon rim to rim at age 85 might result in death, living every single day of your 85th year in the house, doing nothing but ruminating on all your regrets may also result in death.

So, the next time you’re tempted to say that you’re “too old” to do something, ask yourself if you actually mean you’re too experienced and too smart to try something that will injure you again, or if you’re just becoming hopeless of ever fulfilling your dreams.  If it’s the latter, and you’re still breathing, get going.  There’s still time!

Marlo Archer, Ph.D.
Down to Earth Enterprises
1250 E. Baseline Rd., Suite 102
Tempe, AZ 85283
(480) 705-5007