Reframe It!

We therapists have a whole bunch of jargon that we use to describe the things we advise people do to improve their lives.  Eventually, our jargon makes it into popular culture.  One of the terms that you may have already heard is “reframing.”  When something bad happens to a person, we encourage them to “reframe” it so they can think of it in a better way.

“Reframing” may sound modern, but the concept has been around forever.  Monty Python fans might remember being advised to “Always Look at the Bright Side of Life.”  Your grandmother probably told you to “Look for the silver lining,” and your father may have told you to make lemonade when life hands you lemons.

If the concept has been around since the beginning of time, why bring it up now?  Because I think many people deprive themselves of happiness, peace, and contentment by forgetting this important skill and I think people can always benefit from being reminded that reframing something can make the difference between a catastrophe and an opportunity.

As you travel down the road today, imagine you get a flat tire.  What an inconvenience, right?  Not necessarily.  If you reframe your experience, you can definitely make it into something positive.  You can tell yourself that it gives you time to slow down and get out of the hustle and bustle of traffic for a few minutes.  You can look at the fact that it’s only a flat tire and not a roll-over accident.  You can look forward to the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel by changing your tire or the deep appreciation you will experience when a partner or friend comes to help you out.  It’s as simple as that.  A flat tire does not automatically have to be a bad experience.  How you respond and react to it makes it or breaks it.

People get rusty at performing this important skill when they don’t practice.  Take a moment now and think of something that really irritates you.  Now, reframe it.  Look at the positive side of the irritant.  Describe, to yourself, something positive that can only come because of that irritant.  Make sure to remind yourself of why you are, in fact, grateful that you are even able to have that annoyance in your life.

When you get a bill, don’t view it as a loss of money, view it as a gaining of service or goods.  A cavity doesn’t have to be seen as a painful trip to the dentist, but a chance to sample modern dental procedures.  Having the photo lab lose your vacation pictures can be a great excuse to have to take another vacation.  Getting laid off or downsized from your job doesn’t have to only be viewed as a devastating nightmare, but can, instead be seen as a wonderful opportunity to change, grow, and progress vocationally.

The better you get at seeing the sunny side of life, the more content you will be!

Marlo Archer, Ph.D.
Down to Earth Enterprises
1250 E. Baseline Rd., Suite 102
Tempe, AZ 85283
(480) 705-5007