Child Abuse Prevention Month is April

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month—here are some things you can do to protect children.

We are all responsible for the protection of children. Each of us needs to consider this commitment by redefining touch based on the recipient’s likes and dislikes, family loyalty and the distribution of power. Redefining these issues is a major undertaking. People who abuse children are not monsters with tails and horns, they are people who are often physical or sexual abuse survivors and are recreating what they experienced. However, they cannot be allowed to continue to abuse children.

To remain in denial about the reality that child abuse prevention is everyone’s responsibility is to accept a complicit role as a co-perpetrator. You can protect children by empowering yourself and taking full responsibility for your actions and speaking out when you see others abuse children, supporting children’s self-esteem, supporting their likes and dislikes regarding touch and fostering techniques of self-protection in your family, your home and your community.

Knowledge is power. Empower yourself and children with the techniques to protect every child—no matter the age.

“We became what we really are only by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made us.” —Sartre.

Practice the Bill of Rights for Children

• The right to a name and nationality.
• The right to adequate nutrition and medical care.
• The right to adequate safety and protection.
• The right to affection, love and understanding.
• The right to express feelings without reprisal.
• The right to express ideas and opinions within the context of the freedom of speech act.
• The right to be respected.
• The right to set boundaries with regard to physical touch.
• The right to learn to be a useful member of society and to develop individual abilities.
• The right to live in a spirit of universal peace with sister/brotherhood.
• The right to full opportunity for play and recreation.
• The right to be among the first to receive relief in times of disaster.
• The right to enjoy these rights, regardless of race, color, sex, religion, nationality or social origin.

Help Children Feel Loved and Secure
Take steps to strengthen your relationship with children, including:

• Make sure children you know receive your love, even when they do something wrong.
• Encourage children. Praise their achievements and talents. Acknowledge the skills they are developing.
• Spend time with children. Do things together that you both enjoy.
• Listen to children.
• Practice nonphysical options for discipline. There are 1001 alternatives to spanking/hitting, yelling/screaming.
• Depending on the child’s age and level of development, these may include simply redirecting the child’s attention, offering choices, or using “time out.”
• If you see a child being abused—calmly and firmly empathize and offer help. “Seems like you are having a difficult time—“I’ll load your groceries in the car.”  Or whatever you can do to immediately offer concrete assistance. Asking someone if they need help is usually rebuffed because the person doesn’t want to acknowledge their inadequacy.
• Avoid glaring or making critical comments—that solves nothing and may add to the parent’s feeling of inadequacy and guilt and might prompt him/her to abuse the child more when they aren’t in public.
• When you notice a parent calmly handling a tough situation praise him/her.  “You are a very patient parent. I know how difficult it is to handle those tough situations.”

Community Resources Add Value
Children need direct and continuing access to people with whom they can develop healthy, supportive relationships. To accomplish this:

• Take your child/grandchild/niece/nephew or friend’s child to libraries, museums, movies, sporting events, bike riding, hiking, etc.
• Enroll your child in youth enrichment programs, such as sports or music.
• Use community services for family needs, such as parent education classes or free time care.
• Communicate regularly with daycare or school staff.
• Participate in parent support groups.

There is Help
Being a parent is difficult. No one expects you to know how to do it all. Asking for help is OK.  Challenges such as a new born, feeling overwhelmed, unemployment or a child with special needs can add to family tension. If you think stress may be affecting the way you treat your child, or if you just want the extra support that most parents need at some point use the following resources:

• Talk to someone. Tell a friend, healthcare provider, or a leader in your faith community about what you are experiencing. Join a support group for parents
• Ask for help when you need a break. Everyone needs time for themselves. Respite care or crisis care provides a safe place for your children so you can take care of yourself.
• Call a helpline. Most States have help lines for parents. Childhelp USA® offers a national 24-hour hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD) for parents who need help or parenting advice.
• Seek counseling. Individual, couple, or family counseling can identify and reinforce healthy ways to communicate and parent.
• Take parenting classes. No one is born knowing how to be a parent. It is an acquired skill. Parenting classes can give you the skills you need to raise a happy, healthy child.
• Accept help. You do not have to do it all. Accept offers of help from trusted family, friends, and neighbors. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Do not wait until there is a crises—ask for help when you first notice you are losing patience, feel overwhelmed, wonder if you can make it another minute or just want to take a breather.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach and Inspirational Leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net.