What do Men Want?!

You have probably seen the internet jokes that go around that compare the complexity of women to the simplicity of men.  There is one that is a photograph of a box with hundreds of knobs, levers, switches, and buttons on it and it is labeled “women,” while another photo shows a box with a single lever on it, and that one is labeled, “men.”

Another version of the same joke is the list of dozens of items a woman has in her bathroom cabinet versus the one or two items a man has in his.  Another example is the list of how a woman makes a decision – which is a process of about 25 steps, compared to how a man makes a decision – which is listed as two or three yes or no questions that can be answered in less than a minute.

Many men have long ago given up and accepted the fact that they will never ever know what women want.  Just about the time they think they have it all figured out, the woman will change her mind, or the rules, or the entire playing field as — women are quick to tell you – is their prerogative.  Men with good self-preservation instincts learn to just take cues from the woman about what she wants right now and they do not take that to be any indication of what she might want 4 minutes from now.

Supposedly, women are very complex and men are very simple.  If so, why doesn’t every woman know exactly what men want?  Because they refuse to accept the truth.

If you ask an honest man, in confidence, what it is that he really wants, his list is quite simple and quite short.  He wants to have affection and attention, good food, enough rest in a comfortable spot, and a lot of fun.

Ladies, affection and attention are always at the top of the list.  Always.  If you don’t believe me, show this article to your fellow and ask him to be really honest with you.  You will not hear him say that the most important thing to him is that his wife has a great job.  He will not say that he most values the fact that his partner really knows how to match colors exquisitely.  He will not proclaim the importance of his lady eating a balanced diet.  What he wants is affection and attention, plain and simple.  If it comes along with good food, then so much the better, but the tenderness and the caring are the most important.

An important part of the affection and attention that men thrive upon includes gratitude.  When we express our thankfulness to them for the things they do for us, they really enjoy that.  It makes them feel really good to know that we need them and we honor them and that we appreciate them.  Just a few words of thanks can really make a huge difference.  Again, if you don’t believe me, try it for a week.  Pay attention to the little things your guy does for you and tell him thank you.  If he doesn’t benefit from that, be sure to let me know.  I won’t be holding my breath.  I don’t expect any e-mails claiming that someone thanked their partner 3-4 times this week and it just made him angry, depressed, or hostile.  Give it a try.  It’s silly to ignore instructions so simple, hoping to make the task more complex.

Marlo Archer, Ph.D.
Down to Earth Enterprises
1250 E. Baseline Rd., Suite 102
Tempe, AZ 85283
(480) 705-5007