Filters of Your Mind - 2

Third in a series of how to be a more effective communicator.

Last month we discussed introverts vs. extroverts and intuitors vs. sensors. This material will be familiar to you if you have experience with the Meyers-Briggs inventory. When you take a Meyers-Briggs type assessment, you are evaluated in much more detail. Here, we are simply taking an overview to help provide you with tools to understand the people around you.

Internal State
This is a function of whether a person is associated or dissociated. Over time, they will prefer one to the other. People who favor auditory digital (remember from our first article that digital is one of four preferred systems; the others are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic) are more dissociated and are thinkers. People who favor kinesthetic are more associated and are feelers. This filter is not concerned with representational systems.

When you make a decision, do you rely more on impersonal reason and logic, or more on personal values?

___ Thinker  ___ Feeler

Other Questions: Can you remember a work situation that gave you trouble (a one-time event)?”
“Can you remember a work situation in which you were the happiest?”

Look for the person to be associated or dissociated in the memories. In other words, when they tell the story are they emotionally involved, telling the story as if recalling it looking through their own eyes (associated) or are they emotionally flat, telling the story as a series of events, unemotional and detached (dissociated)?

LOGIC = Thinker

Thinkers are dissociated and make up 50% of the population.  45% all women and 55% all men are thinkers. Thinkers make judgments or decisions objectively and impersonally. They believe in principles, policies, law and typically do not think about how it affects others.

Thinkers tend to be skeptical of religious authority and are theoretical. They have mechanical aptitude and learn best from lectures. Thinkers need order, autonomy, dominance, and achievement.

Thinkers prefer jobs like law, physical and biological sciences, medicine, business, and politics.

PERSONAL VALUES =Feeler

Feelers make up the other 50% of population. 55% all women and 45% all men are feelers. Feelers make judgments and decisions subjectively and personally. They are concerned about how values matter to others and may not care about logic. Feelers consider the past when making decisions.

Feelers tend to be more social, more religious, nurturing, affiliating. They also may have more free-floating anxiety as they tend to think so much about others and their situations.

Feelers prefer jobs like social services, customer relations, teaching, ministry, counseling, or nursing.

Which seems more like you? Can you identify people in your life who are in the other 50% camp? Knowing what you now know about their way of thinking how can you modify your communication to be more effective? Thinkers sometimes view feelers as too concerned about everyone else, “bleeding hearts” who lack objectivity. Feelers can see thinkers as cold, ruthless and lacking basic concern for other people’s feelings. When communicating with someone whose style is different from yours, modify your language to appeal to his or her sense of thinking. This will force you (as a thinker) to get in touch with the “human” element of your idea. If you are a feeler, modifying your message for the thinker stretches you to consider whether your idea makes sense to others. Feelers work to find the logic while thinkers strive to feel the love!

Adaptive Response
This filter determines how people adapt to their environment. Does a person go through life aiming to understand and adapt to it or do they go through life in a decisive, planned orderly manner that aims to regulate and control events? Judgers need closure while intuitors stay away from it.

Do you have a Daytimer or Palm Pilot type calendar?

___ yes   ___ no  

Do you use it regularly?

___ yes  ___ no 

___ Judger  ___ Perceiver

Other Questions: “If we were going to do a project together, would you prefer that it were planned, outlined and orderly or would you prefer we were able to be more flexible in the project?”

“Why (not how) did you buy your last car?” Judger = chronological event that led to purchase. Perceiver = list of values or criteria

YES DAYTIMER = Judger

Judgers make up 50 % of population. They want to know what is happening 2 weeks from tomorrow, at 4:15 PM. Do you know anyone like this?

They look for things to be “settled” and may react poorly when things are not planned. The further in advance the planning take place, the happier the judger becomes.

Judgers tend to be decisive and have vocational interests. They are quicker at decision making than perceivers. If you are in sales and you have a judger, look for a decision quickly. Offer options that bring closure and solutions. Talk in terms of this making sense… it is the reasonable choice.

Judgers prefer jobs like school principal, business oriented professions, executive, and police officer.

NO DAYTIMER = Perceiver

Perceivers are the other half of population.

Perceivers want to let life happen, they want to go with the flow. Perceivers don’t like lists, schedule or deadlines. They like open-endedness of not having made a decision yet and prefer to keep their options open.

Perceivers tend to be flexible and open to change, impulsive, and often perform below capacity. They are also spontaneous, less competitive than judgers, and better at abstract reasoning.

Perceivers prefer jobs like writer, musician, artist, psychologist, or advertising.

What happens when a perceiver and judger go on vacation together? The judger wants and itinerary two months in advance and the perceiver thinks the ultimate vacation is getting there and “playing it by ear.”

Keep in mind these articles are providing a basic overview of how people process information and how they think. When you learn to recognize fundamental patterns, you can adjust your language to fit their style. It is all about being flexible. Now that you are aware of the differences, use them to become a better communicator.

George Gillas provides public and corporate workshops and seminars across the Valley while maintaining an active private hypnotherapy and NLP practice in Scottsdale.  He also teaches business, public speaking, and hypnotherapy classes at SWIHA.